Friday, August 04, 2006

Simmons Likes Lewis Too

Bill Simmons, Boston Sports Guy and proverbial white boy, wrote a mailbag article today. He's been MIA for awhile in Las Vegas for the World Series of Poker. He's now back writing for, since he lost on the first day at the WSoP. That's too bad for Simmons, but if that means more Sports Guy articles more often, I'm all for it. Anyway, today's mailbag was pretty good. Maybe a little too good.

Here's what Bill wrote about Carl Lewis crooning the "Star-Spangled Banner" -- in Bill's opinion, the 4th-best national anthem performance ever:

For years and years, it's been like the Babe Ruth of the Unintentional Comedy Hall of Fame (one of the centerpieces of the original class of inductees) ... and now it's finally on YouTube! And the rockets ... RED GLARE! If you click on that link, that's actually the "Best SportsCenter bloopers of the past 20 years" segment (four rock-solid minutes of comedy) with the Lewis song running right in the middle. You will not be disappointed. And I will defend Charley Steiner for life after that brilliant "Francis Scott Off-Key" ad-lib.
Of course, I wrote pretty much the same thing. The lesson? Great minds think alike. Or he's stealing material from a blog that gets four visitors a day.

Interesting tidbit: Bill made the same mistake I almost made. He wrote "And the rockets ... RED GLARE!" Of course, the line is "rockets' red glare." The apostrophe is there because the rockets, like Cyclops and women, are possessive of a red glare. And a second sidenote: I didn't know Charlie Steiner was spelled "Charley." Charley? That's kinda odd. That's like my name being spelled Kehnee or something. And I'm not even black.

Btw, the beginning of the Sportscenter YouTube clip is freakin' hilarious. It may be even more hilarious than the Lewis debacle.

"He hit me. Like a sissy, a homo, he ran!"
*Charley Steiner laughing uncontrollably*

I'm 90% sure that incident happened during one of those boxing pre-fight meetings, involving Mike Tyson no less. And I vaguely remember someone jumping on top of a SUV during the fracas. Those were, as Simmons would say, "good times."

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