Friday, April 24, 2009

NFL Network Mock Draft Full of Hilarity

Transcript

Jamie Dukes: "I'm going with the guy from the Harvard of the South. Everette Brown of Florida State."
Rich Eisen: "The Harvard of the South!"
Charley Casserly: "The Harvard of the South?"

Brian Billick: "I like Rey Maualuga from USC."
Mike Mayock: "Tyson Jackson is still on the board. Did you think about him?"
Brian Billick: "Yes I did. Hard and long.

Charles Davis: "Percy Harvin! Percy Harvin! I know he's off of people's boards, but what do you call that tape, Gruden? Splash tape? Every time a splash went off, the band was playing. And it was his own band. I love his run after catch. I love his strength. I'll teach him to run routes. I'll get a security guy with him. I don't care. Whatever it takes. I'm very happy."
Brian Billick: "Just don't buy him a boat."
Charles Davis: "'The Love Boat' will not be sailing."
Rich Eisen: "That's a different splash tape."

Jon Gruden: "I'm going to check with Peyton Manning and see who he likes. Darrius Heyward-Bey doesn't fit our offense. In the films I watch, he doesn't catch a pass. We're going to go defense. We need an inside player to go with our defensive ends. I'm deciding between Jerry and ... oh he's gone? I'm glad he's gone! The guy I've wanted all day is Ziggy Hood. He's bigger, he's better and he's younger!"
Mike Mayock: "That was classic!"
Jon Gruden: "You know what Perry's nickname is? It's 'Pooh.' When I heard that, that did it. I got my guy. Thank you very much."

Mike Mayock: "When you look at what we just did here guys, we had Stafford fall a long ways. Guys that didn't get drafted here today that could get drafted on Saturday are Phil Loadholt and Eben Britton. Remember, we had four offensive tackles go in the first 11 picks. I think they'll get pushed up in the real draft. Percy Harvin went off the board."
Charles Davis: "I got the problem child. Touchdown!"

Have You Seen This Man? Part Two

Because the Mariners seem intent on screwing up all their recent pitching and hitting prospects.


Reward includes a quality left-handed batter who can probably catch better than a 37-year-old journeyman.

Sunday, April 05, 2009

Mariners Say Fuck It to Third Draft Pick in a Row

Seattle decides to convert Phillippe Aumont into reliever.

For the record, the last three first-round draft picks by the M's:

2006: Brandon Morrow (converting to closer)
2007: Joshua Fields (closer)
2008: Phillippe Aumont (converting to reliever)

How many fucking saves does a baseball team need?!?!?

Glad to see the old M's haven't gone anywhere.